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Poor Unfortunate Souls

URSULA
My dear, sweet child. It’s what I live for!
To help unfortunate merfolk, like yourself.
Poor souls with nowhere else to turn to

I admit that in the past
I’ve been a nasty
They weren’t kidding when
they called me, well, a witch
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light,
And made a switch,
True? Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic
It’s a talent that
I always have possessed
And here lately, please don’t laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable
lonely
And depressed
Pathetic!

Poor Unfortunate Souls,
In pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Yes indeed!

Those Poor Unfortunate Souls,
So sad
So true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying “Spells, Ursula, please!”
And I help them?
Yes, I do

Now it’s happened once or twice
Someone couldn’t pay the price
And I’m afraid I had
To rake ‘em ‘Cross the coals
Yes, I’ve had the odd complaint
But on the whole I’ve been a saint
To those Poor Unfortunate Souls

Here’s my best offer, babykins.
I know a spell that will turn you into a human for three days.
Now, it’s got your procedural clause, sort of a squid proquo.
Before the sun sets on the third day, you’ve got to get dear old Princey to kiss you.
If you do, you’ll stay human forever.

ARIEL
And if I don’t…

URSULA
Oh, nothing durastic darling im sure.
Oh, look! Small print…
Your soul is mine forever and your doomed to spen eternity in my hell soaked layer.
Lawyers, don’t ya just love ‘em! Of course, there is one more thing. My fee.

ARIEL
But i don’t have anything…

URSULA
I’m not aksing for much, only…your voice…

ARIEL
My voice? If I give away my voice than how could I ever…

URSULA
You’ll have your looks!
Your pretty face!
And don’t underestimate
The importance of
Body language!

The men up there don’t
Like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who
Gossips is a bore.
Yes, on land it’s much preferred
For ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear
What is idle prattle for?

Come on
They’re not all that
Impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her
Tongue who gets her man

Come on you poor unfortunate soul!
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I’m a very busy woman
And I haven’t got all day
It won’t cost much
Just your voice

You poor unfortunate soul
Its sad, but true
If you want to cross a bridge
My sweet you’ve got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
Go ahead and sign the scroll
Flotsam, Jetsam
Now i’ve got her boys
The boss is on a roll!
You poor, unfotunate soul!

Beluga, Saruga
Come winds of the Caspian Sea
Larenxes, Glacitus
And max laryngitus
La voce to me!
Now sing! sing your voice over to me!

ARIEL
Ahhh…

URSULA
Sing and keep singing!

ARIEL
Ahhh…

URSULA
Now swim…
Swim…
Swim…
Swim for your life
Human child!

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